4 Haram things in Husband/Wife bed relation in Islam

Islam allows every kind of intimate or bed relationship between a Muslim husband and wife during sex except for 4 Haram things and teaches us the etiquette of doing it.

Etiquettes of Sex in Islam

Islam is a complete code of life and tells us the etiquettes or the manner a husband and wife should approach each other in bed relations.

1. Do it gently with love and care.
2. Recite Dua before Sex: بِاسْمِ اللَّهِ، اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ، وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا‏
3. Intercourse in Vagina only.
4. No sex through the anus.
5. No Sex during Menstrual Cycle.
6. Avoid being Vulgar/Filthy.
7. Don’t be wasteful.
8. Perform Ghusl after the sex.
9. The pull-out method is allowed.
10. Don’t share bed secrets with others.

Dua before having Sex

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: If any one of you recite this dua before having sex and if the couple is destined to have a child (out of that very sexual relation), then Satan will never be able to harm that child. – Sahih al-Bukhari 7396

• بِاسْمِ اللَّهِ، اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ، وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا‏ 

Pull out method

When a man withdraws before ejaculation, it is called the pull-out method or Azl which is permitted in Islam.

Jabir رضي الله عنه said: We used to practice Azl while the Qur’an was revealed (during the days when the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was alive).

When is Ghusl required?

Islam requires Husband and wife to perform Ghusl after their bed relation in the following cases;

• When the tip of the penis penetrates the vagina irrespective of ejaculation. – Jami` at-Tirmidhi 109
• Emission of semen.
• How to perform Ghusl in Islam?

Haram 1: Sex through Anus

The first Haram thing in a husband/wife bed relation in Islam is sex through Anus. There is a consensus on this topic by all sects of Islam that this is a prohibited act in Islam. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said;

• He who has intercourse with his wife through her anus is accursed. – Sunan Abi Dawud 2162
• Allah will not look at him who has intercourse with his wife through her anus. – Mishkat al-Masabih 3194

Haram 2: During Menstrual Cycle

It is also Haram for husband and wife to have sex during the women’s menstrual cycle and during her postpartum bleeding as per Islam.

• What is Kaffara for intercourse during periods?

Muslim husband and wife can actually kiss each other, hold hands and make love in every possible way but cannot have sexual intercourse. – Sunan Ibn Majah 644

Haram 3: Being Vulgar/Filthy

Islam also requires husband and wife to maintain a relationship of dignity in the bed even during sex. Muslim husband and wife cannot use bad words, call names or curse each other during intimacy.

Again coming to the concept of filthiness, there are certain products used in the western culture that are filthy and unhygienic and thereby shall not be used by Muslims.

Haram 4: Be Wasteful

Whatever you use during sex, you should not waste it. For instance, we are allowed to use food during sex but the food shall be for consuming purposes. We talk about chocolate sauce and whip cream: you can use them to eat them and shall not waste them.