Today I’ve planned to write about something that I personally am affected by and sensitive about. It might not make sense to many, while some might be able to relate to it more and to some, it might hit home. We encounter so many people daily, especially if we are working or stay outdoors a lot. Some of us enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them, not for any specific reason but they are just very social. While others, people like me, would rather stay quiet and only like making conversation if it makes some logical sense to them. Usually, people who belong to the first category are more open to different kinds of personalities and can handle them quite well and are also not easily offended. They take things lightly and enjoy getting different responses from different people. Whereas people like us are more sensitive, self-conscious and basically over think everything.[irp]
This makes us more vulnerable to people who generally like to prey on more sensitive personalities by trying to put them down. By that, I do not mean that such people intentionally do that but it’s just the way some people are. Such people generally get under our skins very easily and we often find ourselves feeling miserable over what that person said on that day and how bad it made us feel, but we don’t know what to do about it as this is very common especially in workplaces, schools, and life in general. I can’t say I have been a hundred percent successful in overcoming this problem, but I certainly have found ways to deal with it.
I believe everyone can defend themselves and giving the other person a piece of their mind, but the problem in some cases is that these people who are annoying us are either family members or coworkers whom you cannot just call off like that. Hence we end up staying quiet and trying to tolerate it which ends up in nothing but making us feel miserable and stressed. The thing you need to understand first is that there is a great possibility that that person is not being a jerk on purpose, maybe they don’t have any intentions to hurt you or make you feel bad but they do. On the other hand, it is also an equal possibility that they are doing it on purpose. Either way, the first thing you need to do is learn to ignore such comments. The only solution to this issue is changing your attitude. I know it’s easier said than done, but I have personally tried all the things that I am advising you to do and trust me it does pay off in the long run.
Secondly, you need to stop taking such people seriously. Trust me when I say this, everyone is going to have an opinion no matter how much you try to make things ‘acceptable’ to them or according to what they like. This will only make you feel more miserable and you will end up getting depressed and feeling less confident and second-guessing yourself, which is NOT where you want to head. You need to start living the way you feel is right for you and above all do what makes you happy instead of the other way around.
Thirdly, learn to laugh it off. Yes, literally laugh it off! The thing with such people is that they feed on your misery. I know it sounds absurd but that is what human psychology tells us. There are people who feel happy by making others feel miserable, so what you need to do is STOP letting it get to you. Once they see that you are no longer getting affected by it, eventually they’ll stop trying.
Another very important part of this process is to learn to forgive and forget. It sounds quite basic but it does help. You might not accept it but every time such a person passes a snide comment at you, belittles your opinion on something or disapproves of something you do it does hurt you, a lot. This is because you do want people to like you and you want to make them happy but they just don’t want to like you. It’s as simple as that. This is where you need to make yourself accept the fact that they won’t accept you the way you are and nothing you do will ever make them happy, and once you accept that you would automatically stop caring about what they think of you. This will make it easier for you to forgive them.[irp]
Lastly, instead of taking them seriously and getting hurt you should feel sorry for them because they can never be as awesome as you! They can’t ever be truly happy as they are too perfect for this world and nothing and no one can ever be up to their ‘standards’ hence although they might seem all happy and strong on the outside, they are actually weak and sad on the inside. The last thing I want to tell you is that you need to always believe in yourself and be your own cheerleader. Don’t rely on others to make you feel happy or complete. At the end of the day, you are the one who matters the most to yourself and you should always come first.